Read through the Parish Magazine today and came to see how much of a stereotypical village, country-bumpkin publication it is.
It had an article entitled:
Hanging Basket Thief Strikes Again!
Amazed as I was by this title I started to read and discovered the most pointless piece of “journalism” in, well, the world.
It detailed the stealing of not one, but two hanging baskets. The real tragedy in this first instance was that;
The plants….were growing happily.
However, as our noble publication points out;
One theft though was not enough! The remaining 2 baskets, and the 2 new baskets had all been fitted with watering devices and the baskets were thriving. Unfortunately the thieves decided the watering devices would be useful, and now two of these have also been stolen.
The writer of this piece of utter bollocks continues in what can only be described as the most trivial comeback ever;
The new “owner” though should be in for a bit of a shock – yes there are some flowers in the baskets (blue lobelia) but the main planting is of mint and tomatoes!
……. who fucking cares about what was in the baskets? I don’t care that they were stolen. What type of depraved person steals hanging baskets anyway? Alan Titchmarsh fallen on hard times perhaps? The infamous basket killer of Cambridge?
This surely is the most trivial piece of news ever, and why? Because I live in a village.
I’m looking forward to next month. What will have been stolen then? A bucket?
AARRGGHH (etc)
Added your blog to my blog’s list.
Feel privileged, there’s only 3 others on there. Which /isn’t/ due to my lack of popularity…*sob*
Keep it up, makes for amusing reading.
How’s cadet’s going?